Love Bugs
by Kapuchino357
Summary: You all remember the episode Love Bugs? Well, Candy Wife does too! And here's what she thinks! Rated Kplus for a cupple of cuss-words.


Meh, me waz bored.

Chibi Me: You're always bored!

Me: Not when I'm drawing I ain't!

Chibi Me: Then why didn't you draw something?

Me: Ask me muse!

Amane: Don't get me involved!

Flapjack: Coty, your drawings are awesome!

Me: Bundle of joy! *hugs*

Chibi Me: ANYway... Candy Wife's Point Of View on the episode "Love Bugs". **Coty does not own the "Marvelous Misadventures Of FlapJack" nor the episode "Love Bugs" or any quotes from said episode that ARE mentioned in this FanFiction.**

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~

You know what I like about ordinary days? It's that whenever a sertain young blond adventurer's around they're not at all that ordinary.

It's ordinary for the boy to come to the Candy Barrel, have some candy or get thrown out because the 'Captain' he's always with may not have money to pay for said candy. And it's normal for the boy to always have a smile on his face.

But today he didn't have a smile. Today he had a little heart-shaped _thing_ floating around his head. That's not ordinary.

I watched as him and the rusty old nut-job got their candy filled drinks and sat on the counter. K'nuckles was saying something about love and adventuring just not being able to mix. Oh, how wrong he was. Anyway, whatever the blue guy said, it didn't make Flapjack feel any better. And just to be the top of the barrel my so called 'husband' walked over to them. I stood up and walked over just to hear Larry ask the boy if he's ever been in love.

- Like you'd know anything about love!- I thought.

" No!" The child declined.

" So these are first time love hearts? They'll never get this sweet again..."

-Oh no...- I couldn't believe it! The fool thought it was candy! - Larry, that's not candy! I'm made out of candy so I know candy, and _that_ is _**not**_ candy!- I screamed in my mind. Ofcoarse being mute is a dissadvantage when you're trying to say something to your idiot husband.

I, along with the boy and the 'Captain', watched in disscust as he ate the whatever-it-is. When he was done he poured a jar of candy in to the "Pirate"'s wooden hands and offered them a deal.

" How about you keep giving me hearts, and I keep giving you _free _candy?"

" 'M sorry, Larry." Flapjack shook his head 'no'. " C'mon Captain, let's go!" Poor kid wanted to get out of here fast as he could...

" Mmm ok, uh... do you wanna go visit Sally Syrup beffore she leaves?"

" Why would I wanna visit her?" The blond protested as more hearts poped out of his head.

- That's not natural!-

" That's it, boy! Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally!"

- But then again... so her name's Sally _Syrup_, eh?- I tryed to keep my head out of the gutter but, I just couldn't help how much the names matched in my head!

In no time at all the blue freak and my psycho husband were literary draining the "love hearts" from poor little Flapjack. K'nuckles even openly admited they had to take advantage of the boy's _love_ while " the getting's good" as he put it.

- Uhh, that no-good little... ARGH! He has NO idea how much I wanna kill him right now!- The thought was realy on my mind, but I managed to restrain myself from going for the kitchen knife _somehow_.

They were taking the little somethings from Flapjack the momment the creepers came out and sold them to customers of the Candy Barrel for five dollars each. Draining the boy even fell as low as him having to dance with a durty old sack that had a poorly drawn picture of the girl on it.

I on the other hand had the urge to kill someone. The freak made me a necklase and earings out of the little critters! He was also stupid ennough to go around wearing a cupid's outfit infront of everyone. The verry TOP of the cake was when he had the nerve to ask me to go find and bring the girl there when they started runing out of " Sweethearts" thou.

Oh well, I was mute. I didn't have much say in it.

- I am seriously gonna kill this guy! And I'm gonna use pickle juice to do it!- Ah, pickle juice... how he hates pickle juice...

So I went along with it. I had a feeling this little missadventure was gonna end soon anyway.

Finding the girl was easy, she was by the docks selling sea-shells to passers by. Getting her to come with me was the hard part. Finaly after a small "chat" , if you could call it that, I managed to convince her I was gonna buy some of her sea-shells if she came. I also promissed her free food. The guys had decided to arange a "romantic dinner" for Flapjack and her.

Once I got her there I silently asked her not to freak out and pushed her inside of the room that was aranged for the two youngsters.

- Oh Larry, they're just 8-year-olds! I can't believe you're doing this to kids!- I thought. I may not have ever experienced what humans call 'real love', I may not have a heart to feel it, but from all those times girls came to me and talked about their problems, I was bound to learn _something_, right?

The end to it finaly came when our favoryte Doctor Barber (creepy as he is) came and revealed that the 'Sweethearts' were in fact Blood Gnats.

- Savage, blood-sucking little creepers!- I screached in my head. It was times like these I was _glad_ I wasn't human.

The entirety of Stormalong was freaked out but all became calm again when the two youngsters saved the town. A crowd formed around the docks as Flapjack saw his little friend off with a:

" I don't love you!"

- Hmm, would'da sounded better without the 'don't' but, meh!- I thought. I glared at the blue-thing when I noticed him staring at me and stuck out my tongue.

I, being the attention-paying little puppet I am, learned a lesson that day: Don't f*ck with love! It will come back and bite you in the blood cells.

On a side note, the Dock Hag (as everyone called her. She told me once her real name was Mandy) charged Larry with everyone's medical bills.

-Serves you right!- Heh, maybe I wouldn't have to resort to pickle juice.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~~.~.~

Chibi Me: Heh, pickle juice...

Candy Wife: -Hmm, flapjacks with syrup... I wish I was human now!-

Me: You all probaply thought this was crap. I'm still gonna do the same thing for "Candy Casanova" thou! XD *still huging Flapjack*

Flapjack: Please leave a Review! *cuddles*

K'nuckles: Humph.


End file.
